Ok, so this isn’t my usual type of post. But I feel I need to discuss this. Health is so important and I’m having this constant debate with myself. So I thought writing about it on my little space, and perhaps seeing what you all think, might help settle something once and for all…so here goes…
You know you’ve tried your utmost hardest, and to be honest you’re pretty darn good at what you do, but you’re starting to think and question as to whether it’s all worth it. Yep, that’s me right now.
Don’t get me wrong I do enjoy what I do most of the time. It’s social. It can be fun – the culture at the agency I’m currently at is awesome and there’s always something going on or coming up. A comedy night, a party, book club, summer away day.
But the stress. The anxiety which has sky rocketed in the last 4 months so much so that I constantly doubt everything I do or write. I take twice as long to leave the house in the morning due to checking everything at least twice and staring at the oven to make sure it’s off. The tension headaches which have returned. The constant tiredness and feeling drained from 10 hour days sat at your desk looking at the computer, and being on the phone, without a lunch break as there’s so much to do. Is it all worth it?
I’d easily miss certain aspects. The breakfast meetings, the social side, the agency fun, the friends. And I know I’m pretty good at what I do – well I’m told so and I always hit targets. So I’ve always thought to myself that it’s easier to stay in a career I’ve started.
Trying to move into something else means pay cuts, retraining and a lengthy job hunt, is what I’ve always thought. But does it really? We all have so many transferable skills we learn on the job which can be used anywhere else. And the media industry is well known for not being well paid so perhaps money wouldn’t be too bad either.
Then there’s being bored. In my current career this would NEVER be an issue. There’s always more to do, more selling in and coverage to get, more admin, more ideas generation, building databases, strengthening relationships. Your to-do list is never done. Which makes me worry that if I changed career I could go completely the opposite way and not have enough to do…is that a thing?
I also know that London is known for longer hours, always being switched on and career driven people. Many jobs are like mine, if not worse (yes I’ve heard the horror stories) which makes me think I need to suck it up. Grow a pair and get on with it. But how much worse could it make me? Could I be a wreck in just a few months? Could I get so bad I don’t want to leave the house?
And talking about drive, I could be driven in other areas of my life. I love photography and currently shoot for a couple of clients. I love my blog. I’d still be passionate and ambitious in these areas! If I had a job with a better work life balance maybe I could refocus some of my drive to these areas that I love so much. Be happy and more content in the other things going on in life, rather than too tired and exhausted to enjoy them.
The internal debate goes on.
Are you having the same battle? Do you think it’s worth it in the end? Will it really get you the life you want even if you’re not happy right now?
Would love to hear what you think.