I think some of us never grow out of feeling homesick. We might get more used to the idea of being away from home, but you never stop missing it really. And when you feel ill or if something more major is happening, all those feelings come flooding back.
Needing to escape reality. Having your parents look after you, or be there with you just for a little while. Wanting to be in the home you class as a safe space. Somewhere nothing can get to you.
I’ll be honest, I’ve really struggled with being homesick over the years – it’s getting easier since I now love my job, and my social life (including my chosen family away from home) but it’s been tough. I’ve been in London for over five years now, but since my little sister announced she was having a baby in Feb 2016, and with other things happening in the family last year, I think the fear of missing out on everything, being there for them all and wanting them close too got more intense. I just get homesick.
But I know I’m not the only one, and you can’t have everything you want. If I want the London life, excitement and to be near the majority of my friends, I need to stay here. So I started a number of different things to deal with my family FOMO and feeling hopeless. They have really helped me to manage it, not to feel so low about it all, and so I wanted to share in case it could help anyone else in a similar situation too. So here they are.
Video calls or FaceTime is invaluable these days.
You don’t just get to hear your family on the other end of the phone, feeling so far away, you can see them too now and so easily. Almost like they’re there with you. It somehow makes me feel closer to them, like I’m not really that far, and I even get to see my niece so I don’t miss out on quite as much. It sounds cliche but they really do grow up fast! Schedules can be busy, so you could even plan a video call every week to make sure you get the face-to-face time with family. My sister and I like to do a Sunday to finish the week.
Make plans to go home.
Once you’ve had your visit, plan the next one. This gives you something to look forward to and helps to feel like it’s not really long until you’re snuggled up at your parents house again, with tea being delivered every half hour – just in case you fall asleep from being so comfortable. It really does help to know when you’re going back next. You can make all those plans for what you want to do inbetween too!
Focus on the positives and what’s keeping you away from home.
Whether it’s the career you love, partner and soul mate (if you believe in that) or your group of friends, there’s got to be something rooting you to the town/city you’re in right now. Whatever it is, think how happy it makes you, what it’s adding to your life and focus on that. Your family will ALWAYS be there for you no matter what, or where you are.
Change the things which are making you unhappy elsewhere in your life.
Think about what’s making you doubt being where you are right now. Is it a crappy job, a toxic relationship, a flat you hate? Now think how you can change that. You’re in control of you own happiness. So grab it by the horns and makes some alterations. Get job hunting, hire a cleaner or set a cleaning rota, leave that relationship that’s dragging you down. It could do you wonders and totally turn your life around. Chances are, like I said before, if you’re enjoying life where you are then your homesickness shouldn’t be as prevalent.
Talk to someone about it.
Chances are, a number of your friends who also live away from home will be having similar feelings. Sometimes knowing there are others in the same boat helps. Either way, friends/partners can be there for you. They can help you look at the up side, make plans to give you something to look forward to and help you evaluate what’s making you happy and what isn’t. Don’t keep it all bottled up..share the load. These people care about you so they want you to be happy too!
I hope this helps a few of you who might be feeling the same as me. It is hard. It’s not easy to get through. But we can do it!
Do you use other techniques to manage home sickness?