We all know life can get pretty hectic. Whether it’s an unplanned injury, crazy work schedule, or just all the hen dos and weddings (I’ve already had 2 of each this year, with another wedding to come later this month) it can be hard to balance everything. But throw in someone else’s calendar too, and finding a date which works best for both can be even harder if their calendar is packed too.
This happens all the time. And not just to you.
In today’s world so many of us like to be busy. All the time. We plan so far ahead, slotting in dates into the diary early to avoid double booking or not getting anything in. But it means we don’t have much time left. And when we all do the same, finding a date when you’re both free can be a nightmare. You might not see some friends for months.
But with the best of friends, this won’t matter. You might feel guilty you can’t have that face to face quality time together. But they know, as do you, that if you needed each other, you’d be there. Whether that’s on a call, video call or via message. You’d still be supportive. Just because you can’t see each other as much as you’d like, doesn’t mean you’re any less friends.
I struggled with this a lot. Feeling like I was drifting from some people. And even like I was losing or had lost really good friends. I felt as though I wasn’t managing my time or diary well. As though it was my fault.
I’ve come to realise, that it happens. You do drift from people and grow apart. It’s all part of growing up. But the friends who really matter will stick around. You’ll make the most of the time you can make for each other. No matter how much time is in-between visits or catchups, things won’t change between you, and they won’t make you feel guilty when your diaries clash for months on end. You start working around obstacles and planning dates in far in advance to get them all in. But even if you don’t get to, you know you will eventually and it’ll all be ok.
Because we’re all in the same boat. We all live busy lives and struggle to find time too. So people do understand. You shouldn’t feel guilty that you’ve got a crazy few months. You should enjoy it – you’re doing the things which make you happy. To relish in that. Make time when you can. But don’t be made to feel any other way. Because you’re doing what you want to do and as much as you can do.
There are plenty of things you can do in the meantime too, like just setting aside time to message or call. With us all connected all the time, it’s easier to speak to those we don’t get to see so much. Which makes things a little easier when you can’t make more time for a visit.
It’s easy saying we shouldn’t feel guilty. It won’t come easy, I know that… I’m learning. Next time you’re beating yourself up because you feel like you’re drifting from people too, just think whether it really is because you’ve not spent enough time together or whether it’s just run its natural course. Think about whether you really could have had time to see them, whether you really wanted to… but remember, we can’t physically do absolutely everything we want to do in life. There’s not enough time in the day. And sometimes this is the thing that slips and that’s totally fine.
Do you feel guilty when you don’t see friends for a while? What do you tell yourself?